It’s the final countdown

Arrested Development, anyone?

 

This morning…I got to sleep in an extra hour!

It was to go to the gynecologist, though.  Oddly, this is something I don’t mind, probably because my mom worked for OB/GYNs for 20 years, and I worked there after school in high school.  I’m kind of desensitized.

Fun fact: My old gynecologist is coming to our wedding!  (I switched because of the move, obviously.)  She’s a family friend.

This office was a little odd.  There were lots of teddy bears in the room:

And a shelf of old-timey medicine bottles…and more teddy bears.

Anyway, take this as your reminder to get annual pap smears.  (finger wag)

Unfortunately, I have a cyst of some kind that’s going to have to be monitored.  But, the doc says it’s nothing to worry about and I trust her.

There was no workout today.  I was late to work because of the appointment, and there was a going away luncheon for someone at work.  BBQ was on the menu—I skipped the sides and just had a sandwich with barbecue beef. 

I also had about half of a small slice of cheesecake. 

Around 4 p.m., I snacked on my Greek yogurt that was in my lunch (I forgot about said luncheon and brought a lunch anyway).  I knew I’d be getting home late tonight!

 

Because of my final dress fitting!

I have a wedding dress hanging in my house now.  Whoa.

Unfortunately, I felt kind of dumpy and gross in it tonight.  Apparently, every other time I try on my wedding dress sucks…so, that means when I put it on in ten days, it will be great!  It’s hard not to see the other super-skinny brides in beautiful dresses and say “I wish I looked like that” or “Her dress is prettier than mine.”

I am doing my best to chalk it up to the fact that it was a long day at work, I was tired and didn’t feel like being there, and I didn’t have any of my accessories/veil on. 

I got home, and another wedding gift!

Ramekins!

Unfortunately, klutzy me actually managed to drop one on the floor and break it while I was unwrapping.  So…now we have 7 ramekins, not 8.  Luckily, they are only $2.50 and easily replaced.

Julia asked in the comments to yesterday’s post how I was feeling, so I thought it’d be a good time to discuss my mental state.

I think the best way I can describe how I’ve felt for the last week is like I have perma-PMS.  I am moody.  Some moments I am over the moon happy and excited, but in a moment I can snap and feel like taking someone’s head off.  Last night I had a full-out breakdown—I deal with stress by crying, and I tend to let small things build up and let them all out at once rather than deal with things one at a time.  Basically, what it amounted to is that I’m overwhelmed.  I keep getting questions from wedding guests and family members, I’m juggling emails with the florist, the photographer, the hotel, the pastor, and the reception venue, and I’m….overwhelmed.  And coming to the realization that even though I’ve heard it over and over, I can’t really make everyone happy.  And I feel guilty for feeling this way, because I feel like I should be giddy and giggling and radiating glitter.

And those four people?  Still haven’t RSVPed.

I am ready to be done and be married.  I’m sure the wedding day is going to be awesome, and ultimately, I am very thankful for my friends and family that care so much about me and Tim.   But…right now the last minute things still have to get done, and they’re stressing me out.

Hopefully I will get a ton of stuff done this weekend.  Until then…I’m breathing.  And putting one foot in front of the other, and keeping my eye on the prize.  It will all be okay.

Higher!

First of all.  Thank you all for your incredible outpouring of support re: my slightly dramatic post last night.  I can, and will do this.  I’ve been playing Dr. Google all day, and I feel kind of certain that what is wrong with my knees and lower legs can be solved by rest and ice.  I am super anxious to get to the podiatrist tomorrow.  For now, I am just planning on resting the shit out of my legs until the half, but we’ll see what he says tomorrow.

I started today out still in a funk.  There are assorted wedding stressors going on that I don’t want to talk too much about, but are, well, stressful. 

Lunch.  The aerial view.  Exactly the same as yesterday.

Lately, for lunch, I’ve felt more like munching than solid meals.  I’ll eat the cantaloupe around 11:30, then the pretzel roll around noon, then the yogurt around 12:30.  Works well for me!

I ate a bigger snack around 4 o’clock—a PowerBar Harvest bar—because I knew I wouldn’t be home until later because my dress fitting was at 6 about 45 minutes from home.  These things are good—chocolatey and coconutty and very big and filling.  Good for a light meal replacement or large snack!

 

Then…second dress fitting!

It was so liberating to finally try on my dress without a foot of extra material on the bottom.  I could finally walk around in it!  And sit!  Whee! 

Also, when the seamstress zipped me up, I got a “did you lose weight?” that totally made my day.

And the bustle! We’re still not done yet—we decided to take in the top a teeny tiny bit just so my boobs are firmly locked in place.  It’s a little loose up there right now and I don’t want to be hiking them up!  I’m picking the dress up April 28th.

I came home to find a bunch of RSVPs—7 nos, 2 yes—and two packages, topped with a cat.

The creme de la creme of wedding presents!

Again, with cat interference.

Hello, lover.

For now, she is in the wedding room, but I have grand plans (biscotti!  frosting!) for post-wedding.

We also got a super cute cupcake carrier to go with it.  Wedding presents are fun!

Tim and Milhouse modeled the second package.

 

My uncle loves to cook and when I saw him this weekend, he was shocked he’d never gotten me this cookbook before and had it Amazoned to me immediately..  It’s actually a super fancy cooking textbook!  I can’t wait to take a closer look. 

 

All in all, today started out pretty bad, but got better.  If I have to sit on my ass for two weeks to run this damn half marathon, I will. 

Back tomorrow with a podiatrist report!  Cross your fingers!

First fitting!

Today a hot gentleman propositioned me for a lunch date.  I couldn’t turn him down.

Tim and I ended up at The Mixx, a place that is kind of like the Coldstone of salads—you pick a base and mix-ins.  (They also have sandwiches and pastas.)

 

I was way excited about this.  I got a spinach base, balsamic vinaigrette (full fat, thankyouverymuch), and mixed in roasted turkey, roasted yams, balsamic mushrooms, dried cranberries, goat cheese and pecans.  

It was awesome.

 

I am ashamed to admit that the salad defeated me.  This thing was HUGE.  I barely made a dent in it!  It was super good, but next time I’ll get half the dressing.  It was super filling.

 

Around 4 o’clock before my dress fitting, I snacked on a Clif Mojo Mountain Mix bar.  Love these!

 

Then the time came—the first time I tried on my dress since September, when it was awful and I hated it.

 

I made two big changes this time—I wore a crinoline underneath so the skirt was fuller and I pulled my hair back so my Yeti fro didn’t distract from the dress.  I also brought my veil to try!

AND I LOVED IT AGAIN!

This is the bustle I’m getting—a French bustle.

My other option was a one-point, which I don’t think looked as good.

The seamstress had to go answer a few questions, so I played MySpace teen for awhile.

 

I wanted to get a picture of the earrings with the dress—I like them!

You know what?  My body ain’t perfect.  But I am still beautiful.  I love that this dress shows my curves, and I don’t care that I’m not 10 pounds lighter.  I feel great. 

Anyway, Tim left for Vegas and said “there’s three packages in the wedding room.”  Yes, our spare room is now the wedding room.  Behold.

(Is this shameful?  I probably shouldn’t put this on the internets.)

Anyway, two wedding gifts!  Fancy hampers!  We plan to use one for clothes, and one for punishing Buckley.

 

And our new shower curtain and trash can!

 

And my shower dress came.  Guess what?  Another FAIL.  I LOVE the dress, but there is an under-boob seam that does not jive with my boobies.  It sits waaay too low and I wouldn’t be comfortable.  Back to the drawing board.  Anyone want to find me a shower dress?

 

Also, 11 yes RSVPs in the mail!

Anyway, it’s 8 o’clock and I just got home, so I need to shower and, you know, do stuff. 

What do you think?  Do we have a winner?

Nine and fine

The best part about running so much is the eating.  (Note: I have been weighing myself about once a week or two, and my weight is staying in the same three pound range it’s been in for the last several months.)

Behold my ginormous lunch.

Strawberry Chobani (that I mixed with cherries and granola),  turkey and cheddar on a bagel thin, two clementines, a Kashi strawberry bar, homemade trail mix (cashews, dried cranberries, and chocolate chips)…and a Dove dark promise.

(I actually didn’t eat the clementines.  They were terrible so I threw them out.)

Even though I pack my gym bag for the week, every day around 4 o’clock I start pulling out what I need for the day and stashing it in a pile under my desk! 

I wasn’t particularly excited about today’s run.  I was more nervous.  Nine miles sounds like a LOT to me, especially after a busy nine hour work day!  This week’s fuel was Vanilla Bean Gu.  (Not as good as the Chocolate Outrage, but a solid 2nd favorite!)

Anyway, I knew today was going to have to be just nice and steady.  No speed records!  I decided to set the treadmill at a 10:00/mile pace and leave it there the entire time.  And it worked!  Final time was 9 miles in 1:30:00, for a brand-spanking-new PDR.

Mentally…I did okay.  I got stuck on a treadmill NOT near a fan for the first 2.25 miles, and it was so hot I didn’t know how I’d get through the rest of the run.  But my favorite treadmill with optimal fan and TV positioning opened up and I moved over, and I was much happier, at least for awhile.  Around mile 6, my foot started to act up—not in a hurty way, but I could feel a blister somewhere getting bigger and bigger and it was very squishy and annoying.   I just tried to zone out and push through.  My imaginary friend Super Fit Guy came to run next to me at mile 1.5 and I kind of drafted off his Super Fit Energy.  Is that weird?

Physically…it wasn’t bad either.  I feel less dead now than I did after my 8 milers the last two weeks, so that’s good.  I do, however, have a new blister, this time further back on my arch than before.  Check it:

 

I also have a blister on the bottom of my foot in the very middle.  Random.

 

It’s hilarious to me that those disgusting feet will be wearing these pretty babies tomorrow at my dress fitting!  I am a study in contradictions, I guess.

What can I say, I’m a woman of great contradictions.  I’ve got my crinoline, veil, shoes, Spanx, and jewelry packed up for tomorrow—I have to say, I’m nervous! Anyway, I’m off to spend some time with Tim before he leaves for his super fun Vegas bachelor party.  I’ll be back tomorrow with dress fitting pictures!  Eek!

(Oh, and 2 yes RSVPs today!)

Where would you go on an all-girls (or all-boys) fun weekend if you could pick anywhere in the world?  I’m super excited for my Napa Valley bachelorette party, but Vegas sounds pretty great too!

The wedding vomited all over this post

I have four bridesmaid dresses in my house.

Holy crap, I have bridesmaids.

I’m getting married?  Right.

Sometimes I have “whoa…WHOA.” moments.  This is one of them.

I went today to pick up the dresses at the shop on my lunch hour.  PSA: The Missouri-Kansas border is a road called, strangely enough, State Line Road.  If you have to drive on said road and are relying on a GPS, it will get very, very confused because it doesn’t know if it’s in Missouri or Kansas and recalculate a million times.  So, don’t do it.

I visited this bridal shop when I was shopping for wedding dresses. (Which was kind of the nightmare of my life, but, it’s over.)  They were super nice when I was shopping there, but I didn’t find the dress, unfortunately.  Here are some more gratuitous pictures of me in random dresses I tried on there.  (Excuse me while I go wallow in slight dress regret.)

Uh, no.  I’m not pining for any of these right now, at all.

So, in August, when I was tearing my hair out about finding a bridesmaid’s dress my sister, my mom and I all agreed on, we decided to go back.  They had a great selection and we found exactly what we were all looking for.  Miraculously, we all found this one and agreed it was awesome and ordered it.  Hooray!

Look, they like The Knot too:

Um, sorry, but I’d laugh at any bride who wore this:

I do kind of like this though.

But there they were!  All four of them.

Whee!  I brought them home with me after work and had to model one for Tim.  (It was my sister’s.  What she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?)

The back is my favorite.  Eep!

It was also a very exciting mail day today.  We got our first two Christmas cards, one from my mom (with a car air freshener in it), and one from my bridesmaid Lindsey!

She got married in July and it was gooooorgeous.  How cute is this?

We also got the first gifts off our registry!  Tim’s parents and brother and sister-in-law bought us gifts from Crate & Barrel.  As far as I’m concerned, gifts that arrive before Christmas are fair game for opening.

The first gift was from Tim’s parents.  One of our informal place setings and our sugar bowl!

Since there’s just one of them, we packed it back in the box until we get more.  Sad.  We have really old, mismatched plates and bowls and cups now and I can’t wait to have pretty new ones that all match!

The second ginormous box was from T’s brother and his wife.  Apparently, they want us to get wasted!

All 12 of our wine glasses, plus a really cool wine bottle stopper and the one thing Tim insisted we put on the registry:

A decanter.  Why?  “So we can decant things.”  Right.  So, now we are fully prepared should any old-timey book characters stop by for some sherry.  (Kidding.  I love cool stuff like this.  I am so stoked to get rid of our Ikea wine glasses that shatter if you look at them funny.)

Buckley, of course, made this whole process considerably more interesting.  His nickname is “Inspector Gadget” because he has to be all up in anyone’s business if anything is going on.  Also, his two favorite things are boxes and paper.  We had both.

I’m giddy.  I know they’re Christmas gifts, but they’re off the registry!  We’re getting gifts and hopefully soon we won’t have to rotate our toast halfway through to get it toasted!  Whee!  We are so lucky to have such thoughtful and generous family and friends.

Anyway, my plans for the weekend include holiday baking, gift shopping, sleeping late and running.  Should be a good time.

What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten?  (Not something like “my health” or “my child.”  That’s implied.)

The things I have not decided

Our wedding is on May 8 of next year.  Seems like a long time away, right?  Well, if you’re wondering, it’s six months, three weeks, and three days from now.  Or 206 days, if you prefer. I know that things are going to pick up soon and we’re going to be in holiday mode (not to mention my new job starting) and before I know it, it’ll be January and we’ll be four months out.

Since we’ve been engaged since 12/31/08, we’ve had plenty of time to make most of our decisions.  First we picked a reception venue and church, then a photographer, and a DJ,  then a dress, and then a florist.  So, we’ve got the nuts and bolts of a wedding down.  But this weekend brought up all sorts of things I haven’t even thought about, or that there is some kind of conflict about.  Naturally, the best way to solve this is with the internet’s help!

Dilemma the first: head table or no?

I do not want our wedding reception to look like this:

(That’s the Last Supper, in Lego form.)  I don’t know, I just think head tables are awkward.  The idea of 200 people watching me eat creeps me out, and I want the members of our wedding party to be able to sit with their dates and enjoy themselves.  We aren’t really into the sweetheart table idea, either, because we do want to be seated with our friends and family that we don’t see very often, and we want the whole wedding party at the same table because we don’t want some members to feel bad.  I suggested a long rectangular table with the wedding party and their dates sitting on both sides, but my mother insists that wedding guests want to be able to see you for the whole dinner.  I’m pretty sure I won’t turn invisible in my giant white dress, but nonetheless–does anyone have any ideas of workable solutions for this?

Dilemma the second: the car

I am getting ready at my old sorority house, which is less than a block from the church.  I plan to walk from there to the church.  Our reception site is less than ten minutes away from the church.  We are taking pictures beforehand either outside the church (there’s a gorgeous courtyard nearby) or the sorority house.  I do not find it necessary to pay $500+ to rent a limo, but everyone seems to think our marriage will be invalid if we show up in a regular car.  Allegedly my car dealer uncle might get a Cadillac or something for us, but who knows?  What do you think?

Dilemma the third: the accessories

I am crap at picking out jewelry.  I wear the same jewelry every day–my engagement ring, and a pair of pearl earrings from T, and sometimes a matching necklace.  Accessorize me. Dress pictures found here.  I’m thinking pearls?  Fake ones?  Here are some close-up detail shots of my dress, if that helps.  (Sorry so huge.  Figured it would be helpful to keep them big.)

Dilemma the Fourth: favors

Heck if I know.  I want something edible?  I’m thinking of doing a candy bar, simply because one of my awesome bridesmaids did it at her wedding and is going to lend me the jars and scoops.  Would you like that?  What should I package it in?  While I like the sentiment behind charity favors, I don’t think it’s really a “favor” to your guest to donate to a charity YOU like, so those are out.  Have you seen anything creative I should look into?

Anyway, input appreciated!

The ones that weren’t.

The problem with the internet and weddings is that it seems like everyone goes into dress shopping now with an absolute set idea of “the one.”  They see a picture online and go, “oh my gosh!  That’s it!” and fail to account for the fact that it might look terrible on them.

So, I present to you a parade of wedding dresses that just didn’t cut it for me.  The really horrible ones didn’t even make it to picture stage, but there are some pretty bad ones.

This is my example of “I saw it and loved it on the hanger, but ohmygosh how terrible.”  On the model:

On me:

I think the word “linebacker” is what I used.  Lovely dress, not for me.

This one was a front-runner for awhile, but man, this dress was even LESS forgiving than what I picked out:

This was a perfectly nice dress.  It’s really not bad at all looking at it now, but at the time I think I thought it felt like a poufy prom dress:

This one got the “pretty, but boring” kiss of death:

I actually almost bought this dress.  Are you noticing a trend?  I loved satin mermaid dresses with pleating and minimal beading.  I ended up with a lace dress with lots of beading.  Go figure:

Another one I almost bought.  I still look at it and feel tiny pains of longing, even though I love my dress:

So, there you have it.  I tried on well over a hundred dresses before I found “the one.”  I have to confess, especially after trying it on the other day–I have some doubts.  You see so many beautiful dresses hanging on the mannequins, it’s hard not to see them and go “ooooh…pretty…I bet that would look great.”  I know when I have the full package together on the wedding day I won’t regret a thing, but man, it’s tough!

What do you think?  Did I get the right one?

Turning the negative positive

So…this is both a wedding and fitness related post.  Crazy, I know.

Anyway.  I got a call yesterday that my wedding dress was in, three months earlier than they’d predicted.  Exciting, right?  I had to go in and pay the balance on it and check it out/try it on, so I drove to the dress shop today to do so.  I ordered the sample size, so I figured it would fit just fine and maybe be a little bit big.

Well, what they don’t tell you is that the sample size gets terribly stretched out from people trying it on and sweating all over it.  I put on my never-before-worn dress, and, well, yeah, it fits fine and is still a little bit big in the boobs.  But I had the saleslady take some pictures of me, and wow, they were terrible.

Not only do I think my butt looks huge, but I’m in the process of growing my hair out and it’s at that terrible in-between length where it doesn’t look good unless there is a large hat on top of it.  I also have a big old unpoppable zit on my chin.  I just don’t feel “lean and mean” like I did on May 30th when I first bought it and that makes me a little bit sad.

Here’s the one picture from the day that I liked:

Heh.

So, I get home and, of course, feel bad.  I did an hour of yoga this morning which was lovely, but not really too much of a workout.  (It was really great for balance and stretching and quite relaxing, too.)  Given that it’s my snacky time of day, and I’m feeling emotional and gross (two major overeating triggers for me), I know that staying at home is a recipe for disaster.

But guess what?  It wasn’t!  I decided to channel my negative feelings about my body into something I could feel good about.  I thought about how much I wanted to become a Person that Runs, and decided to give it another go!  What the heck, I thought.  It certainly can’t hurt.

I threw on my yoga clothes from this morning and went out for a run.  Since I didn’t so much enjoy myself the last time I ran outdoors, I tried to take another route to see if that helped.  And it did!  We’re new to the neighborhood, so I went down a road I’d never been down before.  It was delightful!  There was a stream, and beautiful big houses, and PONIES, and ducks and chickens and a pond, and a friendly Golden Retriever that barked happily at me.

Unfortunately, I had to reset my heart rate monitor about 4-5 minutes in because it wasn’t reading, so my stats aren’t accurate.  BUT–according to Map My Run, I ran 3.1 miles (5k!) in about 32 minutes.  I burned about 375 calories (estimated) in the process.  I tried to do a rough 6 minutes running, 1 minute walking thing, but it was more like I ran 10 minutes, walked 2, ran 5 minutes, walked 1, and so on.  My run was VERY hilly, so especially towards the end I walked/jogged very slowly uphill and ran quickly downhill.  (Unfortunately, unless I were to run circles around my subdivision, everywhere around here is hilly, which is…interesting.)

I feel very accomplished, and no longer feel quite so bad about the heinous pictures at the bridal store.  But, two questions and one random statement to finish off this post:

1. Where do you put your house/apartment key when you run?  I stuck it in my bra, but it was a bit scratchy.
2. How do you run hills without looking like an old man?  I am tempted to bend way over when going uphill–is that wrong?
3. Pigeon pose in yoga is INCREDIBLE.  I want to sleep in it.

Meet Ronda.

Blog readers, say hi to Ronda.  (hi, Ronda!)

Ronda is my wedding dress.  She’s by the Spanish wedding dress designer Pronovias.  As you can probably tell…she’s not the most forgiving.  She’s fitted basically to my knees, showing every curve and crevass.   You can see the proverbial T&A, not to mention my thighs, which tend to be the last bastion of fat on my body.  I won’t bore you with the millions of pictures of me in this actual dress just yet, but here’s a sample:

Not exactly the same as on the model.  Now, this isn’t going to be an “OMGWTF I HAVE TO FIT IN MY WEDDING DRESS” blog.  Nope.  I ordered the sample size in the store, so I know it fits, and, in fact, is a little bit big.  But I’d very much like to not have to suck it in like a champ my entire wedding day, and I’d like to feel comfortable and non-poochy.  And I don’t want to look back at my wedding photos and feel a little twinge of “maybe I should have worked a little harder.”

I am a big believer in inspiration to get you through the tough workouts.  When I don’t think I can do one more stinking around the world step, or hold my chair pose in yoga for another ten seconds, I tend to look down at my engagement ring on my hand.  And then I usually groan, “Ugggh…that stupid dress” and do it.

What’s your inspiration?