The things I have not decided

Our wedding is on May 8 of next year.  Seems like a long time away, right?  Well, if you’re wondering, it’s six months, three weeks, and three days from now.  Or 206 days, if you prefer. I know that things are going to pick up soon and we’re going to be in holiday mode (not to mention my new job starting) and before I know it, it’ll be January and we’ll be four months out.

Since we’ve been engaged since 12/31/08, we’ve had plenty of time to make most of our decisions.  First we picked a reception venue and church, then a photographer, and a DJ,  then a dress, and then a florist.  So, we’ve got the nuts and bolts of a wedding down.  But this weekend brought up all sorts of things I haven’t even thought about, or that there is some kind of conflict about.  Naturally, the best way to solve this is with the internet’s help!

Dilemma the first: head table or no?

I do not want our wedding reception to look like this:

(That’s the Last Supper, in Lego form.)  I don’t know, I just think head tables are awkward.  The idea of 200 people watching me eat creeps me out, and I want the members of our wedding party to be able to sit with their dates and enjoy themselves.  We aren’t really into the sweetheart table idea, either, because we do want to be seated with our friends and family that we don’t see very often, and we want the whole wedding party at the same table because we don’t want some members to feel bad.  I suggested a long rectangular table with the wedding party and their dates sitting on both sides, but my mother insists that wedding guests want to be able to see you for the whole dinner.  I’m pretty sure I won’t turn invisible in my giant white dress, but nonetheless–does anyone have any ideas of workable solutions for this?

Dilemma the second: the car

I am getting ready at my old sorority house, which is less than a block from the church.  I plan to walk from there to the church.  Our reception site is less than ten minutes away from the church.  We are taking pictures beforehand either outside the church (there’s a gorgeous courtyard nearby) or the sorority house.  I do not find it necessary to pay $500+ to rent a limo, but everyone seems to think our marriage will be invalid if we show up in a regular car.  Allegedly my car dealer uncle might get a Cadillac or something for us, but who knows?  What do you think?

Dilemma the third: the accessories

I am crap at picking out jewelry.  I wear the same jewelry every day–my engagement ring, and a pair of pearl earrings from T, and sometimes a matching necklace.  Accessorize me. Dress pictures found here.  I’m thinking pearls?  Fake ones?  Here are some close-up detail shots of my dress, if that helps.  (Sorry so huge.  Figured it would be helpful to keep them big.)

idas2 006

idas2 007

Dilemma the Fourth: favors

Heck if I know.  I want something edible?  I’m thinking of doing a candy bar, simply because one of my awesome bridesmaids did it at her wedding and is going to lend me the jars and scoops.  Would you like that?  What should I package it in?  While I like the sentiment behind charity favors, I don’t think it’s really a “favor” to your guest to donate to a charity YOU like, so those are out.  Have you seen anything creative I should look into?

Anyway, input appreciated!


12 Responses

  1. Okay, I’ll offer my input. But I’ve never planned a wedding, so I don’t know how much help I’ll be!

    First, I agree head tables are awkward. Sitting around people sounds more social, instead of being forced to chat with whoever is sitting on either side of you.

    I don’t think the car needs to be classy – just memorable! My parents used the first car they ever owned together. A beater yes, but super cute 🙂

    Nothing is classier than pearls or a simple chain+diamond. I always feel like wedding dresses are so big and gorgeous on their own, jewelry should be as small as possible.

    I think a candy bar for favours would beat out an open (booze) bar for me! 😛

  2. My boss’ daughter just got engaged and my boss was telling me a story about a $30,000 candy bar. My suggestion … just don’t go overboard!

  3. im planning on doing a candy bar too. you can find cellophane bags at walmart. to class it up you can have your monograms printed on labels and just place them on the bags. they can serve as decoration and as bag closer 🙂

  4. I just found your blog and will definitely follow along! I just got married on September 6 and still love all things wedding! I had a candy bar and it was great- people loved it.

    I was also not a fan of the sweetheart table. We did a table with our wedding party and their dates and it all worked out. Everyone was happy and we had a nice intimate group to enjoy the party together. Congrats on the upcoming wedding!

  5. Hey Brie! I found you here from the knot, which I rarely post on anymore though occasionally peruse. I read your blog because mainly I am trying to get in shape for the wedding next September, and reading helps keep me focused! So thank you for that… To answer your jewelry question, fiance took a look and suggested, possibly some fake diamonds, but whatever you do it should be a large necklace, and small earrings. It’s funny because I have no experience in jewelry, and fiance has an amazing eye and taste when it comes to jewelry! I would steer clear of pearls though, because I think too many brides do pearls, but I’m not sure they’d really compliment the dress as much as another necklace would. Hope that helps!

  6. I think it would look really nice with no necklace, but long earrings with your wedding dress. Especially if you’re wearing your hair up – then nothing would interfere with the (awesome) neckline of your dress, but you still get some sparkle.

    Oh, and I went to a wedding a few weeks ago, where the bride and groom just sat at a regular 8-person table. They sat facing the rest of the room, so you could still see them, and besides, they spent so much time doing “rounds” among the tables, I’m sure no one minded.

    Oh, and when people clinked their glasses, they got up on their chairs and kissed. Which was really sweet, and didn’t get annoying, as it only happened twice. (then once for the parents)

  7. I’m another that thinks the head table is awkward. The above suggestion on the round table sounds like a good idea!

    I don’t see any need for a limo. Your car should be fine! Honestly I’ve never paid attention to what the bride and groom show up to the reception in and I’ve been to lots of weddings!

    I’d keep the jewelry simple because the neckline is really nice. If you feel you need a necklace maybe one of those 3 stone diamond ones on a thin chain?

    I don’t know much about favors. The candy bar sounds good. I’ve seen a lot that just had labels stating the names, date, and a thank you message.

  8. I’m on a loss about the head table too. My plan is to do the traditional head table, but to have the wedding party’s dates up there too, with all of us on the same side of the table. My venue said they can have up to 14 people at the head table. My only problem is that I don’t if our venue will allow us to have none wedding party at the head table- something I need to ask them.
    The car- I do not think you need a limo, you will still be married! We’re not planning on doing a limo, only because it will cost sooo much for just a 20 minute drive.
    I’d also do simple jewlery, only because you’re dress is so fabulous and ornate anyway. You don’t want to draw away from that!
    I’m planning on doing cookies for favors. I’m thinking I’ll be making them, for a more personal touch. People don’t want some trinket collecting dust. Most people leave non-food favors at the wedding.

  9. What about a head table but not at the head of the room? That is what we are doing. The bridal party is all going to sit together at one table (I have a small bridal party, so this may not work for you) and it’s just going to be a regular round table like everyone elses. That way no one is watching you eat. I agree that having a long table at the front of the room is weird.

    I think edible favors are great. Otherwise you sort of end up with some junk that you don’t want, you know?

  10. We did a head table at my wedding (more to please family than anything else), but it was a T-table in the corner of the room so not exactly right in front of everyone eating. No one will really watch you eat anyway – it’d be pretty tough to do if they’re eating and sitting at round tables! And I don’t know if you’ve thought about it, but my husband and I only spent about 30 min. sitting at the head table, and the rest of it was walking from table to table accepting hugs and congrats (again, haha), asking everyone how they were doing, and listening to fun, awkward newlywed advice from older relatives 😛

    And we definitely didn’t use a limo – we couldn’t justify the price because not only did we *live* less than a mile away from the chapel, but the reception site was only 3 blocks away from the chapel. My car was the getaway car – although we probably would have borrowed a nicer car from someone if we had thought about it before the day before the wedding (oops!).

    In the end these are all your decisions though. Do what will make you and your hubby to be the most happy – it is your day, despite how it might feel 😉

  11. No head table! You will find a sweetheart table much more fun, enjoyable, and relaxing. You are going to spend all day and night entertaining everyone else — take the opportunity to enjoy alone time with your new hubby!

  12. I’ll share my views as well 🙂

    1. Head table – it’s never been a tradition where I’m from, so I find them awkward. That said, I prefer E-shaped tables, which is what we’ll have in ours.

    2. Why spend money on a car you’ll only use for a short ride? If you can get a cheap one, then go for it, otherwise spend the money on something useful.

    3. Jewellery: I recommend Swarovski crystal jewellery, they give a lovely sparkle, and you can find some stunning pieces out there. I make jewellery myself, both with Swarovski Crystals and pearls, and there are lots of independent hobby jewellers out there who would be happy to create a stunning piece for you. Take a look at my website for ideas, and browse the web for gorgeous hand made items!

    4. Favours – less is more. Something edible that guests don’t have to bring home afterwards sounds good to me.

    Otherwise, good luck on the wedding planning!

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