I’m a bad, bad bride

(And blogger, because I forgot my camera today.)

Lunch was about the same as usual lately—cantyloupe, strawberries, Greek yogurt, a multigrain bagel with Laughing Cow cheese, and what was SUPPOSED to be a big bowl of spinach with a little balsamic on it.  But, the balsamic was left at home.  Clearly, I’m forgetful today.


After work, I went to the gym in the pouring rain.  I ran about ten steps and my knee and shin just didn’t feel great, so I stopped.  At this point, I’m just holding out until I get my custom orthotics—I will probably do minimal running until then, because a) obviously my current shoe situation is not working and I don’t want  to make the problem worse and b) I kind of have minimal energy for the gym going on right now because of the wedding.

I spent half an hour on the elliptical.  It was kind of miserable.  Dan Savage’s podcast was the only saving grace.  (PS:  I met Dan Savage.  He’s been in my car.  He gave me marriage advice and we did a shot together.)

Now, why I’m a bad bride.

Our house has been kind of in a state of perma-squalor for the last few weeks.  I haven’t been around to clean, Tim just doesn’t really notice that things need cleaning, so, yeah, it’s gotten bad.  Particularly…our carpet.  You can imagine the amount of hair two moderately floofy cats in springtime, a beagle, and a stressed twentysomething redhead Sasquatch produce.

So I broke the rules.  Technically, any shower or wedding gifts received before the wedding aren’t supposed to be used until, well, after the wedding.  But I was dying to use our Dyson Animal Ball and get some normal, clean carpet going on.  (Our current vacuum, well, doesn’t suck, literally.)  It was worth it.  Even Tim begged me to take a whirl.

0422 002Yes, friends, we exceeded MAX DIRT in our house.  (Okay, more like max animal hair.)

0422 004

It appears the major culprits were Southpaw and me. 

(If Tim dumps me in the next two weeks, I’ll ask my sister if she wants her money back.  But I’m keeping the damn vacuum.)

In other wedding news…we have a situation.

We invited 204 guests to our wedding.  We currently have 88 coming (3 of which are children under 5 that are free), 80 NOT coming, and 36 question marks.  Of the 36 question marks, we’re anticipating that at most, 8 or 9 will come.  (Most of them are really long distance guests we’re not SUPER close to.)

Our venue contract states that we have a minimum of $X.  To meet $X, we would have to have 114 guests attend under our basic wedding package.  Clearly…that’s not going to happen.  But we don’t want to pay all this money to the venue for 20 guests that aren’t there, right?

So we are looking into upgrading our package.

  • If we upgrade from the basic package to the deluxe package, we get an extra hors d’oeuvre, wine service during dinner (we have open bar, but it closes during the meal), and a full on dessert table with 12 options rather than two plated dessert options.  The cons of this?  If we do have about 95 guests attending, it will put us slightly over our minimum—not a ton, but a few hundred bucks.  Also, it doesn’t seem like we GET all that much more for what we’re paying.  Our crowd doesn’t really drink wine, so I doubt they’ll make much use of the wine service.
  • Stick with our current package and add a lot more appetizers and some other random stuff—side dishes, maybe a special martini bar, maybe more desserts.  The cons of this?  We already have a TON of food.  Like, guests are going to be rolling around.  Do we really need to add a sweet table if we’re already going to have two flavors of wedding cake, cheesecake, and profiteroles?  Prolly not.
  • Stick with our current package and eat the cost.

We’re not really into just eating the cost…but neither other option seems great either.  I’m thinking of potentially bargaining with the reception venue—maybe pay for the deluxe package, but skip the wine and add a few more apps instead?  Or see if I can switch the wine service at dinner to keeping the bar open?  I don’t know.

What do you think?  Upgrade the package?  Add on a bunch of appetizers?  Any other great ideas?


16 Responses

  1. I probably would upgrade the package if it were me. I think having extra dessert and wine service will be nice, but obviously you have to do what’s right for you! Maybe it will come to you in a dream tonight!

  2. we have the exact opposite problem. We invited 215 people, anticipating that 150 would come. We have 166 coming which puts us over budget. oops.

    I’d add a martini bar, or some other extras. Guests would probably enjoy it, even if there is already a ton of food there.

  3. I would definitely not eat the cost, might as well get something. I think it would be really nice to keep the bar open during dinner. I’m the type of person who likes to pick a drink for the night and stick with it. I’d be unhappy if I had to switch to wine and/or wait because the bar is closed (I’d be willing to pay for my own drink at this time haha but if the bar is closed completely, boo). A martini bar sounds kind of fun too. Also, people love appetizers, so more of those are probably always welcome.

    You are a fantastic bride. I’d be happy if someone used to my present, before or after the wedding- at least I know it was appreciated!

  4. Ask if you can pay for vendors/children/teens as full price adults to try & meet your minimum then add wine to the tables & see if that helps your goal amount. I’ve also seen girls on TK invite local knotties to their wedding…so that’s an option too.

  5. Upgrade! I’d go for appetizers and/or desserts…but that’s me cause I’m not into wine.

    About your knee…have you ever tried the supplement glucosamine? I had some horrible pain a little over a month ago. Yes I switched out shoes and that helped…I also started taking glucosamine. I haven’t had any joint pain of any kind. This is my third marathon, and I have never been this pain free EVER! I read that it takes a full month for the effects to really kick in and ever since I passed the month mark it’s been awesome. Just an idea…

  6. I like the idea of upgrading the package.

    Are you doing liquors and top shelf things with your open bar? Because adding in those along might get you there. Or what about a champagne toast?

    Adding apps is always good, and dessert. Are you doing a midnight buffet (or whatever, something around 11pm) because that’s another good option!

  7. I vote UPGRADE.

  8. ugg… what a tricky situation.
    I think I would upgrade too!!

    Don’t you love wedding drama 😉

  9. I would totally upgrade, because if you are paying for it anyways… it is always nice to have a luxurious wedding!! 🙂

  10. In the spirit of the martini bar suggestion some other comments mentioned…how about a special signature cocktail for the night?

  11. I was just married in September and while we didn’t have a dilemma per se – we just couldn’t decide on a full bar (or the previously planned “light” bar for the duration.) At the last minute we did decide to upgrade to a full bar for the entire reception. It was definitely the right decision, our guests enjoyed it and we felt like we didn’t ask them to come celebrate with us and then pay for their own drinks.
    I’d add a martini bar and then maybe ask to add some food to be passed later in the night. It’s nice to have a snack when people have been drinking and dancing. This is all my long winded way of saying – it’s the best night of your life! Do it up! You won’t regret it:-)
    Whatever you decide – I think your wedding will be fabulous! It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into every detail – I hope you enjoy every second:-)

  12. I wouldn’t eat the cost – thats for sure. See if you can add stuff on, or upgrade… are you allowed to bring extras home with you? We had a reception at home after our destination wedding and lets just say people didn’t treat it like a real wedding – and a lot of people didn’t show. So we had TONS of food left over, but we took it home and had really tasty leftovers for like two weeks.

  13. I would upgrade – there’s no point in eating the cost.

    If you’re paying for standard bar service, see if the venue will let you upgrade to a premium liquor package and keep the bar open during dinner.

    I would also either try to add food, or upgrade the food options to a premium choice that ordinarily would have been extra.

  14. DEF don’t lose your moola! I would negotiate with the hotel – at this point as long as you hit the minimum I’m sure they’d be happy to work with you. I love Alison’s idea of the late night food – like at the end of the reception do milk and cookies or mini something (I’ve seen tons of cute stuff on Weddingbee and Style Me Pretty.) I’m SOOO terrified we are going to be OVER our number of invites, and we haven’t even sent them out yet!

  15. Don’t eat the cost. If your guest are not wine people, I would add a specialty drink or martini bar and someone above mentioned upgrading the actual liquor available at the bar and try to keep it open during dinner. That’s an excellent idea. I agree there might be food overload if you add too many appetizers and desserts.


  16. I think it is perfectly ok to use shower gifts before the wedding! I did before ours & I liked being able to tell the people how much I enjoyed them while they were at the wedding. Looks like the Dyson worked!

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